walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
