he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
