I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
