so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
