she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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