I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
