guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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