Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize