You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
