I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize