The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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