Well douche your snatch and let's go!
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Randomize
