I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
id be glad to
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
