I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize