This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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