If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
