i think my tv is drunk
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
