did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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