i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Randomize
