All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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