trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
