my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize