I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize