I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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