What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
