butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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