some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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