i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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