if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
