i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize