i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize