I smell stomach acid.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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