I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
