I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
