her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
