So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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