So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
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I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
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He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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