They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
