We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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