We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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