i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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