i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
