Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Also, beer. Big fan.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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