why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
