it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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