what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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