you will always have a special place in my vag
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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