So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize