I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
