Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
