Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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