you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Less talking, more tequila
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
