There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
