i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
